Zingers, Come back!

The time has come, people! Your childhood friends need you. Don't waffle in this, your hour of promise.

RUN, don't walk, to your Wonder-Hostess Bakery Shoppe and SAVE a box of Ding-Dongs, or Ho-Hos, or Sno-Balls, or yes, the (yechy) Twinkies. Hey, remember Zingers? With Snoopy and Charlie Brown? Don't you miss them? They miss you...

Damn you Atkins-Zombies! Don't make me go Charleton Heston on you! Save Interstate Bakeries! Save America! This is what outsourcing and fads get you. You unpatriotic tree-huggers! YOU ARE KILLING AMERICA! I hope you're happy.

I don't want to have to repeat myself.